pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
