Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
