I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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