Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
