1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
