i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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