Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
