there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
