The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize