I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
