Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize