And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
