HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
