I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
