Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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