I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
