He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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