I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
