I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
