bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
