okay pat passed out under dana's car
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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