honey bunches of taint.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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