am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
