Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize