Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize