I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
