Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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