She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
