Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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