I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Randomize
