I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My dick has a subreddit
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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