hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
