I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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