In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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