He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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