Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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