so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
