I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
