Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
