My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
no. you can't hotbox the world.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
