I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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