It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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