i don't plan on having that self control this summer
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
