I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
