left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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