yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
