No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
