Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
