dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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