Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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