Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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