That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize