i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
