dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
