The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
