are you so shy because you have an std?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
