I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
