You're so nebulous sometimes
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
