After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Randomize