Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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