I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize