Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
