i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
