I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
