just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
