I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
