My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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